The Climb...

"Arushi Ahuja"

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Climbing uphill
Weathered eroded jagged rocks,
Covered in dense colours!

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Reaching the top
Beautiful landscape far beyond-
Fearing the slope.

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Written for MindLoveMisery's Heeding Haiku with HA!



6 comments:

  1. Well done. The first haiku is a feast of imagery and the break in the second one is aptly done. Great job.
    The only thing that can be modified is the rhyme in the second haiku, top and slope, because haiku is an un-rhymed short poem.
    Otherwise, you did it all right. :-)
    -HA

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    Replies
    1. Thank you HA for the feedback... The rhyme was quite unintentional it seems... coz for some reason i dint even notice it... maybe ill try again... thanx again!!

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    2. Hello Arushi,

      Thanks for taking it positively.
      I read Jane Reichhold's tips again. She writes three things about rhymes in haiku:
      1. Avoid rhymes.
      2. Use rhyming words at the end of first and third lines.
      3. Use rhymes elsewhere.

      Thus, I think that it is a matter of flexibility, of how one wants to go for it. I thought of sharing that with you. :-)

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  2. These are gorgeous -- I liked them very much.

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So much time I spent writing this... Leave me here the words on your lips!!